Fed PawnShop 800-FED-SELL

In an unprecedented move, cross-border central banks announced a new
term auction window for US consumers. Specifically, the US Federal Reserve
announced the opening of a 30 and 45 day auction window for all crappy stuff
owned by the end US consumer.

"This move is aimed at the real and pervasive problem in this country - the
consumer that is rich with thingmajigs they don't really need. You can pretty much
take your old stinking socks, underclothes, and even gadgets you bought from
SharperImage that you've never really used and take it to the Federal Reserve
Pawn Window. They've basically told you that they intend to be the pawn shop of
choice. You walk in with crap and they give you US dollars in return.", said Al Vinjamur, independent trader.

Noted technical analyst who did not want to be named also said that this was
a triple-top for useless things owned by the consumer. Several experts noted
on CNBC that the economy is likely ti grow at a lower pace for the next two
quarters, after which they see a sudden and vicious upturn.

Consumers who want to get rid of things they don't need can call the 24
hour line setup by the Federal Reserve, 1800-FED-SELL.